Rachel's argument to remain young

When Rachel was less than one she began speaking in full sentences.  By the time she was two she could convince people of just about anything.  My mom would often tease that she would be the first woman president.  She believes strongly in fairness and justice.  Over the years she has increased in her debating and arguing ability.  Recently, Jeremy and I decided she needed to practice driving more.  She did not like this idea at all, so in order to convince us to give her more time.  She wrote her dad this essay.

Why I don't and shouldn't have to drive.

 

 

 

I don't think I should have to drive because

 

1. Driver's Ed class was my birthday gift, so technically I don't have to use it.

 

 

2. Driving makes me nervous, sick and anxious.  I don't think that is healthy.

 

 

3. I am only fifteen, why do I need to drive now?

 

 

If the answer is, "You go the most places."  Then my reply is the only place I want to go is to track.  If that is too much to ask for than I will quit track.  I love track, but if I have to drive their and feel sick than I can't do it.  I don't understand why I to drive to track.  That is like saying, "You have earned the privilege to do track, but you have to drive to it and feel sick the whole time.

Some people say driving is a privilege, but it doesn't feel that way to me.

I realize in time I will have to face my anxiety and drive, but I would rather it not be forced on me.  As I said, "I am only 15, so why do I need to drive now?"  Can't my days of being young last a little longer.  I don't think I am old enough (mature enough) to take on the responsibility of driving.

Finally, I am willing to do other things instead of driving.  Extra jobs, pay for gas, etc.

Also mom said, "If you don't drive than I am not going to by you a dirt bike."  But I feel like a dirt bike will help me be more confident in my driving.

 

So, needless to say, Rachel does not have to do anymore driving for a little longer, and she is still going to get her dirt bike for her sixteenth birthday.  Shared with Rachel's permission.  I want to make it clear this was not written in a mean spirit or disrespect.  In fact, we as a family, all laugh together at her creative way of getting her message across.  This essay was sincere and respectful, and that is why her dad listened and heard her request and granted it.





Daniel's decision for purity by Daniel

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, my parents took me out to dinner and gave me a special bracelet.  On it, in Hebrew, is engraved, "I am my beloved's and My beloved is Mine." 

My parents told me that there is two meanings to this verse.  The first is that I belong to my wife and she belongs to me, and the second is I belong to God, and God belongs to me. 

This bracelet is a reminder to me that I have committed to live a pure life, and wait until I am married to my wife to have sex. The bracelet also reminds me of my family and that they have made a commitment to keep me accountable to the promise I made to God. 

NOTE FROM MOM:  Jeremy and I wanted to do something a little different with our sons than our daughters.  We chose to have a special bracelet made for Daniel. 

Daniel also completed a purity class with us before we took him out to dinner.  After we take each teen out to dinner and present them with their special reminder of their commitment to purity, they then give a speech and pledge to the family at the next family meal.  Daniel's next meal happened to be Sunday dinner at grandma's house.  So, he gave his speech to all his aunts, uncles, and grandparents, as well as, his parents and siblings. 

After giving their pledge to purity, we as a family make a pledge to keep them accountable.  So, this was extra special for Daniel since his grandparents, aunts, and uncles also gave a pledge to him. 

Daniel has grown into a young man after God's own heart. We are very proud of him.   If you would like to read more of his story you can find it here 
http://hirn-happyhealthyhomeschoolers.blogspot.com/2012/11/gods-story-in-my-son-daniels-life.html.

Toddler Training, can it be done?

A new friend asked,
"How do you discipline toddlers?" 

For those of you who read my blog on a regular bases you know I am more of a story teller than an advice blog.  Not that I don't give advice and share my opinion freely.  If you know me, I am happy to share what I think I have learned in life.  So, after some thought, I will try and  answer this question. 

I was blessed to be raised in a home with consistent discipline.  My parents did NOT spare the Rod.  We learned quickly what was acceptable behavior and what was not.  I never felt abused or beaten.  My parents were not perfect, but they were usually fair and just.  Verbal warnings and admonishment were used and physical discipline was used as needed.  I would say that my parents began as early as six to nine months of age to discipline us.  Jeremy and I have used similar techniques, as my parents to guide and direct our children's actions.
You may be saying, "what in the world do you discipline a six month old for?"  A six month old has a will of their own just like everyone else.  A nursing six month old may bite.  A six month old may through a temper tantrum if he/she isn't happy.  A six month old may be crawling into areas they shouldn't be.  So, how do you discipline these actions? 
I will admit over the years, I have enjoyed reading other peoples advice on parenting.  I read "Baby Wise" when my first two were little, and I love the teachings of "Growing Kids God's Way."  I have also read books on how to discipline the abused/neglected child after adoption.  Like all good self help materials, there are positives and negatives to each one.  But, I have found reading others materials and asking advice from older experienced women has been very encouraging. 

 

My first child was like the perfect kid, in some ways she still is.  She can be sassy at times, but what sixteen year old isn't?  As a baby/toddler she required very little guidance.  But then God blessed me with an extremely strong willed child.  Rachel was very demanding and independent from day one.  She still is.  She is extremely smart and likes to keep busy.  She doesn't like to sit around and watch tv, or even read a lot.  Unless the reading has a purpose.  Pleasure reading is not her thing.  As a toddler she wanted to go go go.  She didn't have time for napping, and she never required a lot of sleep, even at night.  So very early, she needed to be taught how to stay in bed, entertain herself, and have boundaries.  I will admit, I did not learn to handle her well at first.  But, I am grateful for what we did learn through her baby/toddler/preschool years, because a few of my others are like her.  (NOTE:  She is her mother's daughter, and sometimes I wonder if my mom might have prayed her on me.) 

Things we learned about discipline of a strong willed baby/toddler.
1.)  They need boundaries.  Put up gates, make some areas off limits.
2.)  They need routine.  Meal times need to be consistent, and at the table, nap time (even if they don't sleep) need to be at the same time, outside time, mom time, etc.  Use a schedule!!
3.)  They need to hear a "yes" or a "no."  Don't use maybe, we'll see, or I'll think about it.

 4.)  They need to have alone time.  This may look different for different kids.  Maybe it is nap time on their bed, or room time with a gate on their door, or play room time, table play time, etc.  The point is to have them play alone without you or anyone else for 30-60 minutes a day.

5.)  They need correction to be swift, clear, and complete.  When they disobey, throw a fit, or do something dangerous respond immediately, making it clear why they are being disciplined and then let it go.  Do NOT keep bringing it up. 

6.)  Never kid yourself that they are too young, and don't understand.  They are completely able to understand and obey consistent direction.  They will try and play you if you let them. 
7.)  They need one on one parent time.  This can be bedtime, or a different time of the day, but they need to have your undivided attention for just a little while.  Bedtime works best, especially if daddy works all day and he does it.  Strong willed, independent children often have a lot on their little minds.  They need an opportunity to share these crazy, silly, and sometimes really serious thoughts with mom and/or dad.  We have found that our kids have less waking in the night, nightmares, and bed wetting if they have this quiet moment at night and a prayer time with dad. 

So, I can honestly say every kid is different and needs different things.  But the biggest thing with all children is consistency.  If you don't believe in spanking, then use time out, or thinking time, or whatever, but use it consistently.  If you do use physical discipline than do it consistently and without ANGER.  If you can not discipline your child without anger, than you need to walk away and get yourself under control first.  I have found in my life that the most hurtful punishments I have received and given have been verbal.  Do NOT yell and yell.  Sometimes a raised voice is necessary, but NOT in ANGER.  Do not say things you will regret.  Do not make empty threats.  If you DO  any of these things than you absolutely need to learn to say sorry to your child.  Humility is necessary in good parenting. 

I have a four year old right now, that is a handful and even with consistency he still pushes the limits.  So, is there a perfect method of parenting. No.  But if we lay ourselves and our children in God's hands, we can trust him with the results.  Pray daily for your children, and yourself.  God is faithful to answer.

Am I my brothers keeper?

A friend asked me this question today.

" My only frame of reference for a large family are "The Duggars". On that show, the parents have spun off some of the parenting responsibilities onto the older kids (i.e. "buddy system", etc.). Is that what you do in your household?"

So, I will try and answer it the best I can.  First, I will confess I have only watched maybe four episodes of "The Duggars."  So, I am not really sure how they do things.  In our house we have done different things at different times.  Second, I am not sure what" parenting responsibilities" mean in this question.  It is our responsibility as parents to teach and train our children in the WORD of God.  I think every family does this differently.  My parents had us do chores, take care of our siblings, and even run errands to the grocery and other places.  Some people might think that is the parents job to do those things.  I personally think it is better to teach our children community and good work skills in the home (family environment).  This prepares them for married life, work place environment, and church life, not to mention parenting their own kids some day. So yes, our kids do lots of chores, take care of their siblings without pay, and even do the grocery shopping.  We do use a buddy system.  Here is how it works.

When we go out as a whole family, like to church or on a special outing, then we do use a buddy system.  Each kid is assigned a buddy.  We usually keep the same buddy assignment for several months.  Right now the assignments are like this:
Daniel (17) with Stephen (4)
TylerAnn (16) with Josh (7)
Rachel (15) with Davey (10)  this is almost always the hardest assignment
Lydia (14) with Zach (5)
Brenden (13) with Jeremiah (9)
Rebekah (12) with Anna (1)

Each buddy is responsible for each other.  Therefore, the younger is also responsible for the older.  They need to help each other get ready to leave the house (dressed in appropriate attire),  they need to make sure they are in the van and buckled, they need to makes sure they are where they need to be at all times, and if they have health issues (food allergies)  that they are addressed, they need to make sure they don't get left behind when we go home. 

So for an example of how this looks.  As we load up into the van.  I will say to Josh (7),  "Is your buddy in the van?"  Then Josh needs to make sure TylerAnn is in the van.  I might then say, "Bekah do you have the diaper bag for Anna?"  and so on.  By having them both responsible for each other, the younger kids learn to think about others and be responsible.  Because soon they will be the older kids. 

During the day at home, these same buddies will often work together in schooling and chores.  An example of this is during our morning group lessons.  I have each buddy sit beside each other.  Then as we read and discuss the older can include the younger in the lessons.  If we are reading out loud, the older can have the younger follow along in the Bible/book.  As they do chores, if TylerAnn is making supper she may have her buddy Josh help.  IF Lydia is folding laundry, then she may have Zach help her. And so on.

Another time we do buddies is if I have to go somewhere and leave kids at home.  Then I assign them to keep track of each other.  Again it goes both ways.  My older kids will often be tempted to get on the computer or video games if I am gone, but if I say to the younger ones that there is to be no electronics and they are to keep track of their brothers.  This is an easy way of helping my kids help themselves.  The older kids know the younger are watching and make a better choice, and the younger learn the importance of obeying. 

Some of my kids naturally tend to be more nurturing and helpful with the little kids.  Some of my kids struggle to think outside of themselves and their own needs.  Some of my kids need more help than others (like Davey with his special needs).  All of my kid are very independent.  Some of my kids listen to their older siblings with respect.  Some of my kids can be very bossy and demanding.  Some of my kids will not listen to their older siblings.  Some of my kids work together better than others.  Because of these differences, we like to change up the buddy assignments to help each of them learn to work with difficult people.  By learning to be gentle, kind, and patient with their siblings it prepares them for adult life.  By learning to listen even when they don't want to they are being prepared for difficult work and marriage situations.  The buddy system isn't just to help me manage the kids, but also to teach my kids good character.

We teach our kids that they are accountable for themselves and each other.  Therefore, even if someone is not their assigned buddy, they are expected to help them if needed. 

Each of my kids have different ways that they are naturally a help to the family.  So for the most part I encourage that in them.

Daniel loves babies, and is a very laid back kind of guy.  He puts the babies down for their nap almost everyday.  Of course,  that is after I feed them, if they are still being nursed.  If a baby is fussy, Daniel will rock and hold it for hours and not get frustrated.  But, once a baby is no longer a baby he would rather someone else deal with them.  So, he prefers to do household chores, to best serve the family.

TylerAnn is very patient, gentle and a natural nurturer (I am NOT).  The kids all see her as a second mother.  She is a born leader, and if she is being respectful, cheerful, and responsible than everyone is following her lead.  She often needs a break from our family due to the fact that all her siblings, young and old, seek her out for a confidant.  She has even become my close companion and friend.  She doesn't do babies, but she enjoys preschoolers and elementary age kids best.  Often the kids will go to her at night if they have a bad dream or get scared.  The kids know she is NOT their mom, but they also know she will not turn them away.
Rachel is a natural teacher.  She doesn't have to be asked to read to the kids, or play with them.  She often makes up activities for them to do and learn from.  She loves to take the kids outside no matter the weather.  She has potty trained almost all of her younger siblings. 
Lydia is most like her mom.  She is a director and organizer.  She is good at getting the jobs done, and done right.  She is a morning person and takes it on herself to start breakfast, and care for the little ones as they wake up.  She prefers to spend time one on one with a sibling than as a group. 
Brenden is an adventurer and loves to take his brothers on adventures and do crazy boy projects with them.  He will often take the brothers on a hike or  spend hours making forts with them.  He also is a great handy man, and will see a problem and fix it without being asked.
Bekah is a baby lover.  She is a little mommy.  She changes diapers, gives baths, and feeds babies without complaint. 
The little ones are already starting to show their natural character too.  Jeremiah knows Davey is limited and looks out for him.  Even Davey knows how to help with the babies when I am busy. He will often call them to play with him, so I can get other work done. 

So, yes, we do use a buddy system, but mostly we just encourage each kid to help in the way that they are most gifted and enjoy serving in. 

My Ring by Rachel

Introduction by mom: 
 Rachel chose not to have a Quincenera when she turned fifteen.  But her dad and I wanted to do a purity study and present her with her own special ring.  She is a totally different girl than her big sister, Tyler.  Rachel is rough and athletic.  She is very competitive and loves to play games.  She is a gifted teacher, and has a heart for those people with special needs.  She isn't sure what path God has for her in her future, but wherever he takes her she is ready to follow.  Her dad and I are very proud of her.

This week I received my purity ring from my parents, and I would like to share with you what it means to me. 
My ring has three sapphires (my birth stone) to symbolize the Trinity, and it reminds me that God is always with me, and gives me the strength to do what is right. 
My ring also has two diamonds on it to represent how precious I am.  To me, the fact that the ring has two diamonds also reminds me of my two parents and how much they love and care for me.  When I remember how much my parents love me and care for me, I want to make them proud.  I am reminded of Proverbs 10:1, which says, "A wise son makes his father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother."  When I remember this verse, I think to myself;  Is this decision going to make my parents proud, or if my parents were here would I choose this same path? 
My ring is made of white gold to remind me to stay pure. Staying pure to me means, not having sex before marriage.  It also means keeping my head clear of lustful thoughts, and keeping my speech clean and ladylike.  When I am reminded to be pure, I remember to dress in a pure fashion, not tempting to others.  I am reminded to keep my actions pure too. 
My ring is a symbol to me that reminds me that I have a loving family who holds me accountable to what I believe.

A great Blog from a friend

This link is to a blog that a dear friend of mine posted.  She allowed me to help answer some questions of one of her readers.  The questions were about how do you make time for God, Husband, and so many kids.    Click on the link and it will take you to the blog, and I am "Katie."  in the blog, lol. 

http://homeschoolingbible.com/time-for-god-husbandkids-when-exhausted/

Joshua Bible study outline

 

I am sharing this outline for those who ask me about our schooling.  This is a brief outline for our six week study of Joshua.  This outline is for me and the kids to reference as we work through the book.  The details of each assignment are givien on a weekly bases, and they write them into their own notebooks.  We have map books, commentary materials, and more that we reference as we study.  We also use videos, and recorded sermons as we discuss the book.  But the focus is on reading the words over and over again, finding the meaning behind the words (looking at the original Hebrew language), and memorizing the Word.  Note booking is required, and we use it for grammar training, as well as, to plant the lessons into our heads and hearts.
Enjoy!

JOSHUA STUDY (six weeks)

WEEK 1 (Joshua 1:7-9) Joshua 1-4 Strong and Courageous Day 1 Read chapter 1 highlight keywords (God, LORD, Joshua, courageous, strong, firm, etc.) NOTEBOOK: list God's commands and promises to Joshua Day 2 Read Exodus 17:8:13; 24:12-13; 32:17 (additional reading Numbers 13:1-16,25-14:10; 26-38 and Deuteronomy 32:44; 34:1-12) NOTEBOOK: add to your list from Day 1 Day 3 read chapter 2 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: add to list from day 1 and make notes about Rahab Day 4 read chapter 3 and 4 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: journal what you have learned so far about Joshua	WEEK 2 (Joshua 7:13) Joshua 5-8 Conquerors Day 1 read chapter 5 highlight keywords (circumcised) NOTEBOOK: copy verses 10-15 and journal on it. Day 2 Read chapter 6 highlight keywords (fear, fight, under the ban, etc.) NOTEBOOK: make a map of Jericho, journal themes of chapter 5 and 6. Day 3 Read chapter 7 highlight keywords read 1 Corinthians 10:11-13 NOTEBOOK: journal theme of chapter 7 Day 4 read chapter 8 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: Add Mt. Ebal and Mt. Gerizim to your map.
WEEK 3 (Joshua 21:45) Joshua 9-12 Covenant Day 1 read chapter 9 highlight keywords (covenant) Day 2 read chapter 10 map Joshua's Invasion and Promised Land Day 3 read chapter 11 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: journal new insights on Joshua Day 4 read chapter 12 NOTEBOOK: Journal themes of chapters 9-12	WEEK 4 (Joshua 24:14-15) Joshua 13-16 Day 1 read chapter 13 highlight keywords Day 2 read chapter 14 and 15 compare to Numbers 13 and 14 NOTEBOOK: make a list about Caleb Day 3 read chapter 15 and 16 NOTEBOOK: Journal themes of chapters 13-16
WEEK 5 Joshua 17-19 Day 1 read Joshua 17 compare current maps to Biblical maps of this time Day 2 read chapter 18 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: journal theme of chapter 18 Day 3 read chapter 19 highlight keywords NOTEBOOK: what is finished? What is Joshua's inheritance?	WEEK 6 Joshua 20-24 Day 1 read chapters 20-21 highlight keywords (avengers of blood) NOTEBOOK: copy final three verses: journal Day 2 read Joshua 22 compare to Deuteronomy 3:18-20; Joshua 1:1-18. highlight keywords (altar) Day 2 read chapter 23 highlight keywords read Deuteronomy 7 Day 4 read chapter 24 highlight keywords (serve) NOTEBOOK: make a final journal entry