Often at this time of year I take time to list the many things I am thankful for, and then to reflect on how good God is. This year it has been a more difficult task. I have found the year 2009 to be a struggle.
In many ways life hasn't changed that much. School with the kids moves forward and they all are doing great. They each bring me great joy and stretch my patience and faith. My marriage is stronger than ever, and if it wasn't for that I am not sure I would have been able to make it through this year at all. Jer has a great job with a great company, and I am grateful for that. So day to day life is still basically the same.
But, my struggle this year is with my desire to trust my Lord more, to commune with him more often, to know him more intimately, and to be closer to the body of believers in the same way. As Jeremy and I struggled to make some very difficult financial decisions and to make some difficult decisions in our care for our children, we felt very much alone. This along with other things caused me realize I needed to seek my Lord more. This has been a challenge. There are many questions I have these days that only a strong relationship with My Lord will answer. So, I struggle to connect with God and even more so, with his People.
That feeling of being too different, too strange takes over and causes me to isolate myself even more. So, this year has been a struggle, but like I tell my kids even when things are tough we must Praise the Lord and move on.
So, here goes:
God is good and Sovereign, praise his Name.
God has provide us a warm home for the winter.
God has provided more than enough food for our family.
God has provided Jer with a great job w/ a good company, good co-workers, and understanding employers.
God has given us 11 beautiful, healthy, smart children.
God has given us a great family, with wonderful aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, and even pets.
God has provided us with transportation.
I am truly blessed and my Lord knows my name and loves me no matter what. So, though I can't always understand his way, I know he is good and righteous.
Celebrate the birth of our lord and Savior this month and all year long.